Puzzle
I haven’t written in awhile and I doubt this post will be of any real substance considering it’s past midnight and I had the intention of being asleep three hours ago, but I have this sudden burst of thought. Forgive me if it lacks coherency.
I’m lost.
Although I’m not quite sure in what sense.
Again, bare with me.
I think what I mean by that is, I seem to lack the consistency needed to be found.
Here’s the deal. I let the Lord catch me, grab a hold of me, and drown myself in Him for about a week. Then, the inconsistency begins. I taper off. Lose my grasp of Him, while He continues to reach out for me, begging that I just hold on for one more day.
But I don’t.
I lose focus, I drift off somewhere He is forced with the inability to fit into. I turn around. I walk away. And each time I’m left with a crack within myself. Now, you’d think having done this over and over again for the past few years I would have learned my lesson,
but do we ever learn our lesson?
I tell a lie, I crack.
I skip one morning of devotions which leads to skipping every morning. I crack.
I say I’ll spend time with Him but soon find myself doing something completely unrelated with Him. I crack.
And then I find myself in a thousand little pieces, strewn across the vastness of who I am, and He, in His infinite glory, wisdom, mercy,
grace
steps down to where I am, finds each piece, and puts me back together, like a puzzle He has completed an infinite number of times, but with an infinite amount of love.
So, who am I?
I believe I’ve asked this question before, but I think at this point this blog is more for me than it is for you, although feel free to ask yourself the same question.
Who am I? Who are you? Who are we?
Morality and basic ethics tell us it’s wrong to break promises. That it’s wrong to not listen when spoken to, to treat your friends with little respect. But if this is true, if we as a people believe this, than why do we do so on a daily basis with the one who loves us more than we can comprehend?
Is it because we can’t comprehend?
Oh, wait, that’s a different blog for a different day, and I’m hoping that day is tomorrow.
Anyway, right now I’m a little lost. A thousand little pieces spread across the vastness of who I am, but right now I can feel Him, gliding effortlessly down off of His throne, and taking the time, to reach out and find each tiny insignificant piece of myself, and put me back together.
Like a puzzle He’s completed an infinite number of times.
GB
Ephesians 3:17-19
